After years of drinking I found myself at the end of my rope. I felt like I had nothing to live for. I thought that I had made such a mess of my life that there was no way to recover. So I went to a hotel outside of town and began to drink. I tried to drink myself to death. I would drink until passing out, wake up a couple hours later and continue to drink. I did this for several days until I decided to change my tactic. I bought another bottle of Vodka with my last bit of cash and began to drive down an unfamiliar highway. I drove until my gas light came on and I made a right turn onto the first road. At the end of this road was a trail, it was almost too narrow for my truck to go down but I went anyway. The branches were scraping the paint off my $35,000 truck but I didn't care. I wasn't going to be driving back out anyway. I found a spot and decided that I needed to leave some letters to my loved ones. So as I drank and cried my eyes out, I used my laptop to type letters to my mom, brothers and sisters, ex-wife and kids. I was so sad to think of how I was breaking their hearts but the alcohol had such a stronghold over my life that I actually thought that everyone including my kids would be better off if I were gone.

You see my drinking started at an early age and I was hooked from the start. I would only drink to get drunk. I thought it was pointless to have a few drinks and stop. What's the fun in that? I got married the first time at the age of 18 and my wife and I were expecting a baby within the first year. My mother in-law sat me down and expressed her concerns over my drinking but I assured her that I had everything under control. After all I didn't have a problem. I wasn't drinking every day. I would even go a week or two sometimes without even having one drink. Well that marriage ended and alcohol was a factor even though at the time I blamed the break up on the fact that I got married too young, that we just were not in love anymore and to stay together just for the baby would be a mistake because the marriage wouldn't last anyway. Truth is I had a new girlfriend that accepted my drinking.
 
The drinking got worse and I would call my wife in drunken stupors to express my sorrow. She took me back one more time before our marriage would finally be over. I was now drinking every day. Still able to hold down a good job and make advancements in my career. I was young and invincible. I could drink a twelve pack or more at night and still get up and go to work. I began to date a woman that I worked with. I say date but it mostly consisted of going to her place or mine and drinking. We ended up getting married only one month after my divorce was final. To say that drinking effects your judgment would be an understatement. We were expecting a child within the first year of marriage. I continued to drink but my wife had slowed down. She no longer drank with me except on occasions. I began to drink after she went to bed or going to the bar after work before coming home. This marriage would also end and this time I let alcohol get in the way of seeing my son. I visited him only one time after we separated. That was when he was two. I never saw him again and to this day I only get to see him in photos. He has been adopted by another man who accepted the responsibility of being my sons father. I still did not accept the fact that drinking led to the majority of my problems. In fact I would drink more because now I needed something to take away the pain. The very thing that was the root of all these problems was now what I depended on to function.
 
Because I chose to let alcohol run my life for twenty years I had two failed marriages. I didn't have a close relationship with my daughter and lost all rights to my son. I hopped from job to job, had several failed businesses and even took money from one of my employers to gamble which cost me jail time and probation. This all led me to that spot in the woods seconds away from taking my life.
 
I decided that I would drink as much as possible until nightfall, and then just before passing out I would tie a plastic garbage bag around my head and end my life. The sun went down and I looked up at the sky. I then reached to get the plastic bag when I noticed a light in the distance. It was coming toward me but I couldn't tell what it was. I thought maybe it was a couple of ATVs’s, they came closer and then stopped in front of my truck. It was the police. Two police cars had found me in the woods in the dark. How did this happen? They came over to me and asked me what I was doing out there. I told them I just wanted to be left alone. I am sure I reeked of alcohol. I had been drunk for almost a week straight. After they had me get out, I reluctantly agreed to let them search my truck. One of the officers was suspicious and the other seemed to have a genuine concern for me. He asked to look at my laptop and I agreed. He only needed to read one letter to confirm what he already knew. He came over to me and gave me a cigarette and said “We are going to save your life tonight”. I broke down and began to cry. I begged them to just leave me alone.

Once all of the vehicles were out of the woods, the deputy got in the car and began to drive. He said we had about an hour and half trip (to the hospital) I was being admitted under the Baker Act. He began talking to me, introduced himself and told me a little bit about himself. He told me that he normally doesn’t do traffic but he was covering a shift for someone that night. He was a drug task force officer. He told me he was not religious but he had to share something with me. When he was a baby he was home with his mom while his dad was working. He became sick and was running a high fever. His mother called his father who left work to come take them to the hospital. When they arrived at the emergency room it was busy and people were waiting. A man came from seemingly out of nowhere and took him from his mother’s arms and disappeared through the door to the back. They went after him and all they found was their baby boy in an ice bath. There were nurses around and all they could describe was a man with dark hair and a beard with a red and black flannel type shirt. His fever was so severe that had he not been placed in that ice bath he could have had brain damage or even died. He went on to tell me that he was too young to remember this happening but it was a story his parents told him from time to time. He said he never really thought about it until that night because while he was doing speed control a man in a truck pulled up to him and gave him specific instructions on where to find me in the woods. He said that the man in the truck had dark hair, a beard and a red and black flannel type shirt. He said he knew that it was no coincidence and that he had to find me. That is why they chose to drive their squad cars down the trail even though they had never been back there before and they risked getting stuck in the sand. They could have waited for a four wheel drive but I would have been dead by then.

I believe that man in the flannel shirt with dark hair and beard was an Angel. He was sent by God to the only officer that would connect his appearance to a past experience and rush to my aid with utmost urgency. God has plans for me and was not going to let satan have my soul. I rededicated my life to the Lord and will spend the rest of my life fulfilling his plan for me. That night was the last time I have ever had a drink. My life since that night has changed so much. I have an honest relationship with my daughter. My second ex-wife and I have talked to each other over the phone and I get to see pictures of my son on Facebook. I know that someday I will get to see him again because I have God on my side. It feels good to wake up everyday knowing that I have a purpose and that my Heavenly Father is guiding me. If you or someone you know has a drug or alcohol problem please feel free to contact us. Also you can click on the News & Events section of this site for information on an addiction recovery group.

Thank you for reading my testimony. I would love for you to watch the videos on this site and invite Jesus into your heart. If you want me to contact you and pray with you personally please fill out the contact form. We will also send you a free Bible.

Chris Thornburg